November 23rd, 2015

aetherna: (chibi3)
I do wonder why we can't have all the good things in the world in this life. After all, we only live once. Mother Earth is so harsh! I have graduated and now doing a small job while waiting for international assignment, but the friendship and love department are rather in chaos.

Long story short, two of my best friends are having a cold war since months ago to the point where they have declared that they are no longer friends. I once tried to retrace the steps to find the real cause(s) behind this situation, but I was not very successful. (1) Difference in ideology of 'common' things. A acts like this, A thinks that is okay but B is offended. Vice versa. Instead of confronting each other, they keep it bottled inside like most other girls do. Therefore with one trigger, everything just exploded and could not be saved anymore. (2) Problems with bf. There seems to be discomfort with how the bf of these girls are behaving and that affects the girls. I understand we can't live in peace forever every second, but when you declare yourself as "best friends", I thought we could work out things like this. Turns out we can't. My last and only hope is that they directly say to each other, and to me, as someone who is still friendly with A and B separately, that we can no longer be friends like before. That we should move on. I need this closure so bad. Yet I can't exactly push them around to 'say it right here right now' because they are still working together for the next few months. Said it would be too awkward if we talk now. My wound is getting cold, leaving scar. I don't want to look back to this day and still in pain for not putting a proper end to this broken vase.

Love department is actually not that gloomy. I think my bf has been generally supportive in all these times. I guess I'm still learning to expect less and do more, not to hope too much so I won't be hurt or too disappointed. Yet sometimes I can't help it. It's not like I never talked it out with him, though; we did and we had improvements so I should be thankful.

"In my life, I love you more."