aetherna: (chibi3)
I do wonder why we can't have all the good things in the world in this life. After all, we only live once. Mother Earth is so harsh! I have graduated and now doing a small job while waiting for international assignment, but the friendship and love department are rather in chaos.

Long story short, two of my best friends are having a cold war since months ago to the point where they have declared that they are no longer friends. I once tried to retrace the steps to find the real cause(s) behind this situation, but I was not very successful. (1) Difference in ideology of 'common' things. A acts like this, A thinks that is okay but B is offended. Vice versa. Instead of confronting each other, they keep it bottled inside like most other girls do. Therefore with one trigger, everything just exploded and could not be saved anymore. (2) Problems with bf. There seems to be discomfort with how the bf of these girls are behaving and that affects the girls. I understand we can't live in peace forever every second, but when you declare yourself as "best friends", I thought we could work out things like this. Turns out we can't. My last and only hope is that they directly say to each other, and to me, as someone who is still friendly with A and B separately, that we can no longer be friends like before. That we should move on. I need this closure so bad. Yet I can't exactly push them around to 'say it right here right now' because they are still working together for the next few months. Said it would be too awkward if we talk now. My wound is getting cold, leaving scar. I don't want to look back to this day and still in pain for not putting a proper end to this broken vase.

Love department is actually not that gloomy. I think my bf has been generally supportive in all these times. I guess I'm still learning to expect less and do more, not to hope too much so I won't be hurt or too disappointed. Yet sometimes I can't help it. It's not like I never talked it out with him, though; we did and we had improvements so I should be thankful.

"In my life, I love you more."
aetherna: (artistique4)
I decide to be more positive and get out of this laziness hole. It is time to be more productive and give this blog something worth reading! With that said, there is no better story in my life except my trip to Japan. Another reason is because I also need to record that awesome experience somewhere else outside my head, so that in case I forget it like stupid hero(ine)s in TV drama get their amnesia because of some not-so-important things, the story will not be gone just like that.

This post is dedicated to the first day of our very quick trip, July 16th 2014. I went with two friends to Osaka, Kansai. We planned this trip since around a year ago. We bought the tickets on September 2013, I still had the copy on my laptop.

Read more... )

One of many attempts of throwing rock into the river. HI!
aetherna: (chibi5)
These last two days, my friends and I made a huge decision. It was not an easy decision. Yet I heard bad rumors about us at the other side of the island. This post is not made to pick a fight with that other party and the place that I once considered "home". This post stays as a clarification and a memento, so that everyone who reads it, everyone who is involved, and for myself, to always remember the mistakes we did and never to do it again.

Forum Promotion. I found this forum when I first started my own forum and/or blog, years ago. I think it was around 2010. I did not stay long because I did not agree with a review for my blog that I requested. After I moved on from that anger, though, I found myself staying around the forum. I eventually joined the staff team as a Review Team Member, resigned in 2012, rejoined the team as a Community Team Member, and promoted to Review Team Leader around the end of 2013 until two days ago.

When and where did everything start...?

My resignation was not based in one event. It was an accumulation of many disappointments towards the owner of the forum when I was a team leader there. (I am not planning to mention any name in this post. Anybody curious can ask me for the name directly and privately.) Nobody is perfect. However, when someone with a position as high as an owner did not do anything to "pay" for the imperfection, disturbed the rhythm of other staff members' work, and disregarded their hard work, those were the very last lines of my limit. I chose to leave before I exploded.

I had fun with my job as a reviewer and a team leader. Team leader is equal to global moderators, so it is a double work. As a global moderator, I was required to also communicate with administrators and owner of the forum. There were many agreements and disagreements between us, yet we had always managed to come to terms with each other and perform our duties as usual.

I did realize the owner did not participate much in our discussions about management of the forum. To be honest that is not anything new; since the era of the previous owner until the current one, they rarely did any direct participation in forum management and moderation. It was nerve-wracking, but at least we could handle everything else. I was okay with the other administrators and us team leaders taking care of those all.

That is why, it became strange that when the owner decided to actually participate, all that he did was going against us.

As a former Community Team Member (aka the moderators of the forum) and current global moderator who had to deal with troublemakers, there is no bigger insult than looking at banned members returning to the forum all of a sudden. No notice, no reason. When the said members cause troubles once again, it was other administrators and team leaders who had to deal with the crap. Not the owner. One administrator, due to exhaustion dealing with a certain troublemaker, even left a note saying clearly that he would step down if this member ever returned to the forum. And the owner did the exact thing: he unbanned the member, gave him a sponsor membership, and enjoyed the day. I did not know the reason for these members returning, and I did not even care. I heard it was related to money, but I would not judge him with rumors.

He claimed he did not read the note. Does that make sense? This is one serious form of ignorance.

One day the owner also decided to promote someone to "Valued Contributor" group. It is a group for important people, as the name implied. Mostly for retired team leaders or those who have contributed largely to the forum despite not being a staff member. This one person was added without clear notice and reason, as usual. We were told that it was a reward in advance for the things he would do for the forum. It did not really make sense, but we chose to wait. We waited, but nothing happened. And so we questioned this decision. Other staff members caught this member doing inappropriate actions which earned him reminders from the moderators, which made our discomfort even greater. At the peak of the discomfort, the owner once again decided to give a reward-in-advance for this member in form of short user name. This kind of reward had never been given to any other member because it required edits through cPanel. This looked like a game of favoritism to our eyes. While we protested, the owner did the same thing to himself without replying to our concerns.

Am I wrong if I said that such action was equal to shouting to us that he did not care about us or what we said and that he could do anything he want?

He is the owner. I feel that such action is very, very inappropriate. To the level of insulting. I feel as if he was mocking us, who worked ourselves so hard out of love for nothing. No real life payment. In fact, we wasted our free time for the forum and its members. We kept the boards clean. And he acted as if we were nothing.

Those were two important events which drove me to my resignation. It could be different for each of those who resigned, but it was generally the same for everyone. We were tired. Very tired.

I heard that the other side of the party removed specific details of the story to manipulate the situation. I heard that he thought we blackmailed him and didn't give him time or chance to explain himself. He can do and say whatever he wants. This is the truth, though, whether you believe it or not. Three administrators, four team leaders, and four staff team members stepped down in total due to this event. One administrator and one team leader stepped down earlier because they couldn't handle it anymore. Does it seem like we didn't give him time to explain or change? Think for yourself.

I also have special message to those who choose to stay at the current Forum Promotion, whether as a regular member or as the new staff team member, including our former friends who betrayed us. My advice is simple. OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS. WIDELY. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Watch everything carefully and see for yourself if we just made this up or not. I heard the owner said he was going to change. That is good. Unfortunately, that is also what we heard over and over again, up to the point that it is very hard to trust. So go ahead and prove it yourself. I hope this event will stop here and you will not suffer the way we did. If it does not stop, though, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Fare thee well, Forum Promotion.
aetherna: (chibi4)
It has been a while since I posted any update in this journal. Caught up in life, and just... too lazy. <3 But as payback, here I'll share the summary of previous months.

February 2013 ~ The big thing was me turning 20. Feeling so old, yeah. First few days of February was spent lazily at home, enjoying what was probably my last holiday for the next a year and half, or so my friends said. So I was at home with parents and sister, visiting this and that place, doing this and that, until I had to resume school. Classes were fine, got its boring moment, but I managed to got through it rather safely. Can't remember anything so special happening in February. Don't ask me of Valentine's Day, lol.

March 2013 ~ Happy Easter! March was closed with a lovely Easter celebration here, even though I was tired because of it. Preparations of events, usual university stuffs, me getting lazy, me and my addiction to drama and anime, finishing Winter's anime, and waiting patiently for the new Spring titles. Noticed how my friends were fighting, getting pissed off at some things, got into fangirl mode on for music and drama, and found peace between all those hectic moments. I'm glad March went through safely, too.

Now... Happy April's Fools day! Nothing bad happened today, thank goodness. Instead I'm preparing for exam right away, and a retreat for Catholic students at the end of this week. Busy as hell. But somehow enjoying it. With all the laziness included. And waiting patiently for Seung Gi-oppa new sageuk drama which will start airing in mid-April.

Life can't get any better.
aetherna: (chibi1)
I've stopped studying around half an hour ago.

The priest at my church today mentioned the word "reflection" in his speech. He said a person who never reflected back on his life didn't deserve the life. By reflecting on his life, someone can become a person better than before, learning from his mistakes, expanding horizon, and living a healthier life. Reflection is never easy; it is in a point where you have to consider other point of views, otherwise the reflection has no meaning. I guess I did it once in a while...

My reflection of 2012? I think my spirit decreased a bit in 2012. It felt as if I rarely felt so attached or spirited in everything I did. School grades were not so bad but nothing special as well. Things with friends and family went well but flat, or so I think. I hope in 2013 I can fix those things somehow. Especially since I'll be entering the clinical stage of my education, it's an important step.

I hope you do well on your reflection as well. :P

P.S.: This is most probably will be the last post of in this year. Fare thee well, 2012. It was a nice, long journey with you.