aetherna | Entries tagged with choir

Watching MasterChef Indonesia Season 3 today breaks my heart. That one deaf participant that I mentioned previously had to be eliminated because he failed the challenges and pressure test. A shame to see him go because he actually had talent, but as mentioned numerous times by the judges themselves, he had been a great inspiration for everyone, not only in the field of cooking. Best of luck for him from now on!

And the badminton games have been very satisfying so far. Many awesome moments, all the attacks and defenses are amazing. Even though Indonesia lost on the quarter final thanks to China (as usual), it was still a great game. And now I can't wait to see the final between China and South Korea tomorrow; a battle of two strongest badminton nations so far! <3

I guess I was sad yet inspired from many things. And I also listened to this inspirational song by the heavenly Philippine Madrigal Singers, or mostly known as MADZ.

For whatever problems we may have, let's not give up hope. Because those who try will be paid equally.

Heart full
Body Dream Land
Soul MADZ - Go the Distance

Every. single. time.

EVERY SINGLE DAMN F**KING TIME IT STILL DIDN'T WORK OUT.

I really don't understand the basic problem. I thought I knew, I tried to do everything I could to avoid it... Yet it happened again. It always did. We never did things right. NEVER.

F**k.

My only backpack was broken this morning all of a sudden, the exercise didn't go well, I found a visitor with exactly same dress as the one I was wearing, and ultimately the lame performance. When all efforts gone to waste.

F**k.

What a way to start May.

Heart disappointed
Body Blah.
Soul Bah.

In my case, I don't think there is anything -- or anyone, to be specific -- to push.

I didn't have big hope since the very beginning. I spent two years as a member, and I had already seen how... lonely this group was. Only certain names were fighting for it, others neglected it. I didn't know the story behind, the reasons, whatever. But I believed in those who came that day, so I decided to take on the job. I knew it would be hard, I knew I would eventually be the last person standing. Still, it didn't make things easier now that it truly happened.

I'm not particularly angry or mad or very disappointed. Like I said I knew this would happen. If there is anyone to blame, it'll be all of us, and I'll carry the biggest burden. Each of us must have a reason (because I will be sure to smack them if they have no reason at all for not coming) so I'm trying to understand it. Busy with academic activities, just not up for singing in choir again, or tired looking at my face. There is a reason, no matter how ridiculous it may be.

To be honest, I'm not sure why I'm still doing this. We are a group, if there is only me left then we're nothing at all. No one to teach, no one to sing with. I'm surprised this group is still alive, if that is indeed how things work past few years. I can't get things moving solely out of my love of singing. This thing needs people to work; something very basic I never really have.

I love this, but it seems like I'm the only one who love it this much.

I just don't want to fail. But I see no other way.

Heart blank
Body Boarding House
Soul FJ Wakana - Mizu no Akashi

These past two weeks I dedicated my life (by that, I mean my free time) mostly for my faculty's choir group. Well, I'm the chairman after all, but it was more because I was also responsible for the practice since we don't really have a fixed coach. So my friend and I helped the team as coaches. We had to perform twice, each in the last two Saturdays. So I scheduled practice for almost everyday during those weeks.

Things went better in first weeks than the last one. Short story is, our first performance was way, WAY, better than the last performance. Ashamed? No need to ask. Although I had kind of "given up" since I couldn't do anything anymore. It didn't change the fact that I was hurt and disappointed, more towards myself than others.

I was chosen as the chairman of this year's team. I actually had the chance to refuse, but I didn't. I thought this would be a good chance to "repent for my sins in the past"; failing our choir competitions and making our coach cry. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but man, isn't it hard.

The failure this time was my mistake, I guess, since I didn't plan it out well enough. When I accepted the job since the time frame was close to the other performance I thought it wouldn't be a problem. Lesson learned to be more careful in the future.

Performances are over, but now our big(gest) responsibility has come. New batches. What to do with them? If we can't keep them interested we'd lose people just like how we lost those one year below us. Another tough battle. Are we going to win?

Now I know for sure that it is not enough just to have music. Because not everyone in team is "satisfied" with "just music".

Heart restless
Body Far from home.
Soul LiSA - Itsuka no Tegami

rainchild

to be a meaningful gesture

Entries tagged with choir

Dream can go the distance.

F**k it.

Pushing a wall is still better, you know.

As long as I have music. ... Is it really enough?