rainchild

I had applied for residency in neurology, but the admission was inevitably delayed due to COVID-19 issues. I went into a half-frenzy-half-scared mode when I got the news that interview and all the remaining exams would take place online. Frenzy because I had to juggle studying among everything else, and scared because now I'm not sure if I want to leave my comfort zone and go back to school in the middle of a huge war against the Coronavirus. But there's no running away, and I finished all the exams yesterday. Now I wait.

In the middle of this confusing time, as I run out of games to play, one phrase suddenly comes to mind: otome games. I have no idea which part of my brain comes up with such a suggestion and why, but I end up downloading Mystic Messenger and Mr. Love: Queen's Choice. Two old otome games which, according to two friends, are quite popular in their niche and are worth my time at least for the tragic and broken plot.


As charming as Gavin and Victor are (guess which ones are them from the poster above), I don't have the time yet to fully commit to a game as huge as Mr. Love, given that I still have an action RPG one to grind almost all day long. I stick to Mystic Messenger for now, which so far is showing promises 7 days into the game. As the game matches my real time to dish out content, it feels almost real; as if I am talking to real people and preparing for a real party. It is even more surprising to hear the Korean instead of the usual Japanese voiceover on my games. The only unreal part is how I should go for answers which are not really me to get to the desired ending(s) and find the bigger picture of what's going on. Still, these new experiences are entertaining, so I believe I'll stick around for several walkthroughs.


One point that originally pulled me into these games was the 'dating sims' tag, but turns out this is quite different from my imagination. I was thinking about the style dating sims in Persona series, but neither really works like that so far. I avoid spoilers, so maybe I'm just not yet at that romantic dating point, so we'll see. I do like that I see each character's flairs throughout the chats in Mystic Messenger; everyone is so crazy fun and weird in their own ways, even the minor characters in the emails. More than romance, I'm thankful to have this kind of character and relationship exploration.

After all, that's what reality is about, isn't it?

There is a real difference between the world of school and the world of work.

I graduated at the end of October 2015. After a long journey for 5 years, I am finally, officially a doctor! ...Sometimes the title does feel so heavy a burden given how empty my head is. But anyway, it marks the end of painful days of studying, scoring, assignments, exams, and everything else. It sounded impossible previously; I looked back at my posts here at this journal, how exhausting and stressed I was during this journey. I was not even sure about my final exams. Unending gratitude for everyone (and God) who supported me throughout those years.

Despite no longer titled a student, it doesn't necessarily mean I can practice my knowledge freely. I have yet to gain my official license, which can only be obtained after I pass one-year internship period at a remote area. Currently still in the process of working on that department: registration, collecting information and testimonies regarding various area, and getting ready in general. I can only hope I won't pick the wrong choice.

Besides enjoying my free time by trying to write in this journal again, browsing around at forums, replaying Persona 3 Portable for the only-God-knows-how-many-times-has-it-been times, trying to play Persona 3 FES but waiting for the USB-joystick Mom is going to send soon, watching more and more Korean drama, watching another Chinese drama, and just sleeping when I have any time left after doing all those things, I am working as a research assistant at campus. Ophthalmology is one of the fields I'm interested to study even more (though it is actually half-surgery, duh!) so I am quite happy I can get a work here. I had to send my applications few times to different people until I was finally accepted. That hit me quite hard because I didn't imagine the world of work is that competitive. It's been a great experience, though. From handling samples, taxes for the honors, and working on monthly assessment of patients' treatment. Fun work is fun.

I also recently found out the lovely feeling of making your own money. That pushed me as far as making my own PayPal account and thinking about what I can do to bring more income. Posting is one possible option, but I'm still experimenting with what I can do. I need ideas!

/me goes to that place where all brilliant ideas are produced

( If you really don't know what it is... )

I think I will post a more detailed update of myself in another post, after this one. At this moment the need to share these two amazing songs is stronger than a boring update about myself.

I was late checking the new release of one of my favorite singer group, 4MEN. And when I did check the songs out, as usual I regret why I did not do it sooner. From their newest, fifth album, titled "1998", these two songs hit me hard on the face.

"포맨 (4men) - Star" (Watch on YouTube)

Though I can’t talk with you, though I can’t hug you...
It’s alright.
You are a dazzling star.
And I live in that light.

The song title is Star. Before I went to search for the lyrics translation, I did not expect its meaning to be a song from fans for their idols. Very sweet. It was a novel idea for me. But then the quote above, a part of the refrain, brought tears to my face for some unknown reasons. I think it was because for me this song is not only for idols on TV, but also for idols in real life, those who are so far away for me, unreachable, but I will always hold them dear in heart. Because there is nothing else I can do. This song is supposed to make me happy, so I find it funny that I'm crying.

"[MV] 4MEN(포맨) _ OK" (Watch on YouTube)

Even if you go clubbing, I’m OK.
Even if you get plastic surgery, I’m OK, because you are my love.
I’ll pick the stars for you, I’ll give you the moon.
Even if you get sensitive once a a month, it’s OK!

Very simple title with very simple (full) lyrics. I love it because of the fresh melody and powerful voices combined with simple lyrics; honest, straightforward, and sweet. Most probably because we are used to hear words organized beautifully. But no, this song does not need it. And that is why it is so charming. That is why I love it.

Long story short? I love 4MEN to death. If you have not checked them out and are a fan of ballad songs, they are worth your time. Always.