aetherna: (artistique1)
I had applied for residency in neurology, but the admission was inevitably delayed due to COVID-19 issues. I went into a half-frenzy-half-scared mode when I got the news that interview and all the remaining exams would take place online. Frenzy because I had to juggle studying among everything else, and scared because now I'm not sure if I want to leave my comfort zone and go back to school in the middle of a huge war against the Coronavirus. But there's no running away, and I finished all the exams yesterday. Now I wait.

In the middle of this confusing time, as I run out of games to play, one phrase suddenly comes to mind: otome games. I have no idea which part of my brain comes up with such a suggestion and why, but I end up downloading Mystic Messenger and Mr. Love: Queen's Choice. Two old otome games which, according to two friends, are quite popular in their niche and are worth my time at least for the tragic and broken plot.


As charming as Gavin and Victor are (guess which ones are them from the poster above), I don't have the time yet to fully commit to a game as huge as Mr. Love, given that I still have an action RPG one to grind almost all day long. I stick to Mystic Messenger for now, which so far is showing promises 7 days into the game. As the game matches my real time to dish out content, it feels almost real; as if I am talking to real people and preparing for a real party. It is even more surprising to hear the Korean instead of the usual Japanese voiceover on my games. The only unreal part is how I should go for answers which are not really me to get to the desired ending(s) and find the bigger picture of what's going on. Still, these new experiences are entertaining, so I believe I'll stick around for several walkthroughs.


One point that originally pulled me into these games was the 'dating sims' tag, but turns out this is quite different from my imagination. I was thinking about the style dating sims in Persona series, but neither really works like that so far. I avoid spoilers, so maybe I'm just not yet at that romantic dating point, so we'll see. I do like that I see each character's flairs throughout the chats in Mystic Messenger; everyone is so crazy fun and weird in their own ways, even the minor characters in the emails. More than romance, I'm thankful to have this kind of character and relationship exploration.

After all, that's what reality is about, isn't it?
aetherna: (chibi3)
I do wonder why we can't have all the good things in the world in this life. After all, we only live once. Mother Earth is so harsh! I have graduated and now doing a small job while waiting for international assignment, but the friendship and love department are rather in chaos.

Long story short, two of my best friends are having a cold war since months ago to the point where they have declared that they are no longer friends. I once tried to retrace the steps to find the real cause(s) behind this situation, but I was not very successful. (1) Difference in ideology of 'common' things. A acts like this, A thinks that is okay but B is offended. Vice versa. Instead of confronting each other, they keep it bottled inside like most other girls do. Therefore with one trigger, everything just exploded and could not be saved anymore. (2) Problems with bf. There seems to be discomfort with how the bf of these girls are behaving and that affects the girls. I understand we can't live in peace forever every second, but when you declare yourself as "best friends", I thought we could work out things like this. Turns out we can't. My last and only hope is that they directly say to each other, and to me, as someone who is still friendly with A and B separately, that we can no longer be friends like before. That we should move on. I need this closure so bad. Yet I can't exactly push them around to 'say it right here right now' because they are still working together for the next few months. Said it would be too awkward if we talk now. My wound is getting cold, leaving scar. I don't want to look back to this day and still in pain for not putting a proper end to this broken vase.

Love department is actually not that gloomy. I think my bf has been generally supportive in all these times. I guess I'm still learning to expect less and do more, not to hope too much so I won't be hurt or too disappointed. Yet sometimes I can't help it. It's not like I never talked it out with him, though; we did and we had improvements so I should be thankful.

"In my life, I love you more."