rainchild

I do wonder why we can't have all the good things in the world in this life. After all, we only live once. Mother Earth is so harsh! I have graduated and now doing a small job while waiting for international assignment, but the friendship and love department are rather in chaos.

Long story short, two of my best friends are having a cold war since months ago to the point where they have declared that they are no longer friends. I once tried to retrace the steps to find the real cause(s) behind this situation, but I was not very successful. (1) Difference in ideology of 'common' things. A acts like this, A thinks that is okay but B is offended. Vice versa. Instead of confronting each other, they keep it bottled inside like most other girls do. Therefore with one trigger, everything just exploded and could not be saved anymore. (2) Problems with bf. There seems to be discomfort with how the bf of these girls are behaving and that affects the girls. I understand we can't live in peace forever every second, but when you declare yourself as "best friends", I thought we could work out things like this. Turns out we can't. My last and only hope is that they directly say to each other, and to me, as someone who is still friendly with A and B separately, that we can no longer be friends like before. That we should move on. I need this closure so bad. Yet I can't exactly push them around to 'say it right here right now' because they are still working together for the next few months. Said it would be too awkward if we talk now. My wound is getting cold, leaving scar. I don't want to look back to this day and still in pain for not putting a proper end to this broken vase.

Love department is actually not that gloomy. I think my bf has been generally supportive in all these times. I guess I'm still learning to expect less and do more, not to hope too much so I won't be hurt or too disappointed. Yet sometimes I can't help it. It's not like I never talked it out with him, though; we did and we had improvements so I should be thankful.

"In my life, I love you more."

June is already here. In fact, we have already reached the second of June of 2012. The year of end of the world. :P Bottom line is, time flies, right? It feels as if we have just celebrated New Year few days ago, now we are already halfway through this year. So scary.

So many things have happened lately. Quite a lot of stress from school, with so many things to read and work on. Especially now that rather silent weeks have passed and we once again enter the weeks of battle with exams. My online activity thus have been reduced quite a bit, and it will decrease even more in upcoming weeks, until around three weeks from now when current class end and new one starts. Mom and my sister returned to hometown few days ago, leaving me alone here. And I can only go home on late August. Such a long way to go.

I suppose I can say I am kind of stressed with another thing as well.

I just don't understand why. I suppose if we talk directly, I will finally find out... Yet I feel there is no urge to do so since the other party totally shows no interest at all in talking with me about anything. That is rather discouraging, hence I decided to back off slowly and eventually cut off the connection. Not that I am angry or anything... I just don't understand why, and I react to what I see in front of me. Who wants to live in discomfort anyway, right? If I am not needed, if it makes me feel discomfort, I may as well stand back and live my life alone. No offense at all.

Perhaps it sounds like I am disappointed? I guess so. Deep inside since we have been together for a while, we can sort things out properly, but turns out I was wrong. I had faith... and in one way or another I was 'betrayed'. Sometimes I think if I have done something wrong, something I am unaware of.

So when I was told that we were going to talk... I'm just curious now.

Enough with the gloomy post.

The coming of June also marks something else in my life, actually, something more positive and lovely. It marks six month of something special, which I didn't think would last this long actually. It started of as something fun, and eventually we enjoyed it. I can't wait to see where we will go to after this. <3

Staying positive is so hard to do, but I will do my best!


P.S.: I hope you like the secrecy! :DD

I finished another anime today, I decided it might be fun writing what I feel and think of series I watch. Well, like a review, but not as good as one those awesome reviews out there since I have never written a review on anime~ So don't be too harsh. :P

Obvious warning, spoilers ahead, as much as I try to keep it as superficial as possible, so do NOT read if you do NOT want to be spoiled!

Mirai Nikki

Episodes: 26
Status: Completed
Producers: Asread
Genres: Action, Mystery, Supernatural, Psychological, Thriller



Based on a manga with the same title, middle school 2nd year, Amano Yukiteru, is a boy who has problem making friends. He thinks of himself as a bystander and will always write down everything he sees in a cell phone diary.

Tormented by solitude, Yukiteru began to imagine things like a friend called Deus Ex Machina who is apparently the Lord of Time & Space. Seeing Yukiteru's miserable state, Deus gives him a new ability. His diary will now record events that will happen in the near future. Yukiteru is then forced to participate in a game which the winner will become Deus's successor.

Opening Theme: "Kuso Mesorogiwi" by Yousei Teikoku
Ending Theme: "Blood Teller" by Faylan

( Read more... )

I didn't regret watching this anime though I was sometimes annoyed with the psychological element as it was too twisted. XD A great and fun journey. I don't want a sequel, just at least a glimpse of what the ending actually meant. Perhaps I should go check the manga, eh. :P