Edit: I apologize if I had offended anyone with this post without knowing about the controversial sample. I'm heartbroken that such a thing happened to an album by a rapper which I could listen through until the end. Yoongi said that what's good is good, so that means what's bad is bad. I acknowledge that the team could've done better, but I'd like to leave a recommendation of songs that I find are good enough if you are willing to look beyond this point. Thank you.

( The original post )

Beware of spoilers! SPOILER ALERT!


I kicked Sephiroth's ass yesterday, but honestly, my greatest joy is weathering through the tiring six-boss phase starting from Chapter 17. See you no more, motorbike chases. I couldn't help feeling exhausted despite knowing that I was getting into the climax. Thinking about the upcoming Hard Mode scares me, and my friends who I think are better players than me all struggle with it, but we'll see. Sometimes I do like challenges.

While many comments or reviews about Final Fantasy VII Remake are related to the past memories of playing the original, that's not the case with me. My childhood memory is poor, and my English was lacking back then. I remember playing the original on PlayStation - even bought the game several times because one of the three discs would not run - but the biggest impact was Cloud not being who I thought he was. I barely remember anything else. In that sense, I prefer to think that I'm playing Remake as a newcomer. I know its general concept and story flow, but I don't have any expectations; I will ride through whatever the production team throws at me.

That's probably why I enjoy playing Remake. Not (yet) at the level of love I have for Persona 5 or NieR: Automata, but I enjoy the battle system more than Kingdom Hearts 3 for example. I'd say that's the greatest strength of the game. One wrong Materia and you're dead. With the right skill sets, what looks scary is gone faster than the wind. (Shout out to my powerhouse Queen Tifa. (Aerith is a close second.)) It nails the balance of strategical thinking and quick hand response; the result is a stylish, fun action RPG system.

Out of the field, character building is rather decent. Fleshing out the part in Midgar provides a bigger chance to interact with the AVALANCHE members. It isn't bad - I love Jessie as much as I dislike her lol - but I think Cloud benefits the most from all these newly constructed interactions. I know Cloud's got some screws loose because of his past, and it is still very much visible, but I also see more sides of him I don't remember. I'm filling up the image I have of him in my head as I progress through the game, and I like that he feels human. Funny moments are also plenty enough to keep the gloomy atmosphere in check. (Rude is my new idol and Rufus is so hot!)

All those supported by the beautiful graphic design and music, Midgar feels so alive. I spend 50 hours in one city - heck, only three sectors out of eight - but I don't feel particularly short of space. How many times did I stop just to rotate my camera and enjoy the scenery at the top of the church in Sector 5 or during the climb? Visually stunning.


There isn't much to say plot-wise. What can I say about an incomplete story? Some of the new details are not very interesting (looking at you, Roche and Leslie), some are way too interesting (hello ending x3), but how are they going to fit in the frame of the old story? How bad is it to be different? It kills me a little to finish an unfinished game, but it is what it is.

I can only wait to cross destiny once again, hopefully just in a year or two.

Saying you're fine means you're in pain too.

I know that is not 100% true, but everyone has been at that point once. When your words cloud your heart. When your smile doesn't reach your eyes.

It always brings butterflies to my heart when they say or do things like these. To think these boys are around my age but seem to be mentally stronger and are capable of understanding the many sides of being a human.

And I'm back. For as long as my lazy ass feels like writing again. Don't depend on it, but I'll love you forever if you stay around just a little bit even if you just say hi or bye.

I want you to be your light, baby
You should be your light
so that it doesn’t hurt anymore –
so that you can smile

I want you to be your night, baby
You could be your night
so that this night can be honest with you

Promise me now:
Even if you feel like you’re alone many times a day,
don’t get to the point you throw yourself away
Pause here for a moment,
hook your pinky with mine,
and promise me now

Translation by wisha

In an attempt of reviving this blog, let us also bring back one of my favorite things to do when I used to write a lot (at least when I still had my WordPress blog): Friday 5! For those who do not know this 'game', every Friday I am supposed to answer 5 random questions from thefridayfive. Super late answer for last week's questions due to various things happening in life, but better late than never, right?

1. Describe your favorite outfit. - The most favorite and comfortable combination for me is casual T-shirt with short pants. For semi-formal occasions, though, I like wearing one-piece dresses which are simple but still elegant. Not really a fan of long dresses; not that I ever used one either as far as I remember.
2. Describe your personal style. - I am mostly a casual, chic, tomboy person. So I prefer clothing or accessories which do not bring problem in me moving around. In that sense, heels and wedges can be a problem, but since I can handle them just fine so far I don't really categorize them in a "to-avoid" category.
3. Approximately how much do you spend on fashion/personal care annually? - Very funny question! The only things I can think of that fall under the category of 'fashion/personal care' are when I go to cut my hair, buy clothes, or buy shoes. Annually that may only amount to 72-96 hours total... I really don't go around that much, lol. Unless they are broken or I need to find specific thing.
4. Do you dress for yourself or for everyone else? - After choosing the design for my graduation clothes, I'd say it's for myself. I got critics from bf and his mother that it looked rather strange on me, but I enjoyed the pattern and cut because it was something different from what I (and I bet friends) normally wear. It is important to wear something others like, but at the end of the day I wear what is comfortable and compatible with my mood.
5. Give us your best fashion/personal care advice. - Eat a lot, drink a lot, and work out. That's what I'm trying to do right now, lol.

There is a real difference between the world of school and the world of work.

I graduated at the end of October 2015. After a long journey for 5 years, I am finally, officially a doctor! ...Sometimes the title does feel so heavy a burden given how empty my head is. But anyway, it marks the end of painful days of studying, scoring, assignments, exams, and everything else. It sounded impossible previously; I looked back at my posts here at this journal, how exhausting and stressed I was during this journey. I was not even sure about my final exams. Unending gratitude for everyone (and God) who supported me throughout those years.

Despite no longer titled a student, it doesn't necessarily mean I can practice my knowledge freely. I have yet to gain my official license, which can only be obtained after I pass one-year internship period at a remote area. Currently still in the process of working on that department: registration, collecting information and testimonies regarding various area, and getting ready in general. I can only hope I won't pick the wrong choice.

Besides enjoying my free time by trying to write in this journal again, browsing around at forums, replaying Persona 3 Portable for the only-God-knows-how-many-times-has-it-been times, trying to play Persona 3 FES but waiting for the USB-joystick Mom is going to send soon, watching more and more Korean drama, watching another Chinese drama, and just sleeping when I have any time left after doing all those things, I am working as a research assistant at campus. Ophthalmology is one of the fields I'm interested to study even more (though it is actually half-surgery, duh!) so I am quite happy I can get a work here. I had to send my applications few times to different people until I was finally accepted. That hit me quite hard because I didn't imagine the world of work is that competitive. It's been a great experience, though. From handling samples, taxes for the honors, and working on monthly assessment of patients' treatment. Fun work is fun.

I also recently found out the lovely feeling of making your own money. That pushed me as far as making my own PayPal account and thinking about what I can do to bring more income. Posting is one possible option, but I'm still experimenting with what I can do. I need ideas!

/me goes to that place where all brilliant ideas are produced

( If you really don't know what it is... )

Indonesia has been in uproar lately. So many problems coming in at once. Well, I kind of believe that things have always been like this. I only follow things lately though because I feel the need to update my general knowledge too, so I started to watch TV and news more. And one thing that is being discussed nation-wide at the moment is the issue related to our recent president election.

We had the election on July 9th 2014, around a month ago. There were only two candidates; if I remember correctly we used to have more for this kind of election, but it could be good for us to have it like this because it means we would only need one voting round. One candidate was an ex-soldier with power and experience, whereas the other was the governor of the capital city/province, while My family supported the second candidate because we believed he was open-minded and decisive enough to lead this big nation.

I actually couldn't vote because I was not at the city where I belong to as citizen and I didn't bring any letter from my hometown which could make me vote somewhere else.

What I find "amusing" -- to the point of ridiculously "amusing" -- is that when the committee announced the winner (which was the second candidate), the other candidate chose to bail out of the election and sued the committee for dishonesty. He believed the committee did some tricks to make specific party win. Based on his own quick count, he won slightly above the said winner. His lawyer also mentioned that if they lose this case in the court, they would bring a mass of people and create chaos whatsoever.

I read that paragraph above twice, thrice, to make sure that I wrote it correctly. Yes, I wrote it correctly, and you read it correctly.

Given the situation, the first impression I actually had of this candidate was a childish and non-sportive person. Of course, there is a chance that some people were pulling the strings and might truly did dishonest things back then. However, after watching the analysis of many people from many sides, the issues he raised sound more to the impossible side.

This losing candidate claimed that he did not get ANY vote in many places. However, the results of the voting went through many stages of verification. Witnesses were placed in all voting places. Results were only sent to higher stage (for example, from village to city, from a province to national center) after verified by witnesses. Witnesses were taken from parties of the candidates. So why did "his" witnesses verified the result in the first place? Why complain now? The winner also didn't get any vote in other places, in which he got full votes. Did he complain? No mention of it at all. This mainly happens in remote areas, where culture and social role may become a factor in deciding who to vote. For example, a rather traditional tribe may discuss on the candidates first and decide on one name before going to vote. I found it strange too, but it could happen considering the tradition and culture.

He claimed he had proofs and witnesses of this "structural and massive crime". I really hope this will be shared publicly so everyone can see and judge whether those truly make sense. His actions and words so far actually rubs me off the wrong way so much that it will be very interesting to see how he proves his stance.

But above all, what ticked me off a lot was what his lawyer said about causing chaos. That, regardless of the result of the court, is wrong in every level. Does violence actually ever solve anything? Does he think by causing physical uproar in the country, people will listen to him and give him the president throne? To me, it will only drive people's interest from him even more. A losing president candidate using violence to question the result of the election because he lost does not sound good at all.

This country can be so sickening at times. If someone who wants to be our leader acts THAT way, what will happen to us? People talk and shout about the problem between Israel and Palestine. Hey, look INSIDE. Worry about what happens INSIDE. Please.

P.S.: This is actually my first attempt writing from phone. Yes, after searching for compatible application to use Dreamwidth from mobile, I found this ElJay application. Mainly for LiveJournal, it has expanded its wings to cover other platforms too. I have yet to try if other options are possible, such as changing icon for post, adding tags, adding images, and everything else. At least for now, simple posting really does work.

These last two days, my friends and I made a huge decision. It was not an easy decision. Yet I heard bad rumors about us at the other side of the island. This post is not made to pick a fight with that other party and the place that I once considered "home". This post stays as a clarification and a memento, so that everyone who reads it, everyone who is involved, and for myself, to always remember the mistakes we did and never to do it again.

Forum Promotion. I found this forum when I first started my own forum and/or blog, years ago. I think it was around 2010. I did not stay long because I did not agree with a review for my blog that I requested. After I moved on from that anger, though, I found myself staying around the forum. I eventually joined the staff team as a Review Team Member, resigned in 2012, rejoined the team as a Community Team Member, and promoted to Review Team Leader around the end of 2013 until two days ago.

When and where did everything start...?

My resignation was not based in one event. It was an accumulation of many disappointments towards the owner of the forum when I was a team leader there. (I am not planning to mention any name in this post. Anybody curious can ask me for the name directly and privately.) Nobody is perfect. However, when someone with a position as high as an owner did not do anything to "pay" for the imperfection, disturbed the rhythm of other staff members' work, and disregarded their hard work, those were the very last lines of my limit. I chose to leave before I exploded.

I had fun with my job as a reviewer and a team leader. Team leader is equal to global moderators, so it is a double work. As a global moderator, I was required to also communicate with administrators and owner of the forum. There were many agreements and disagreements between us, yet we had always managed to come to terms with each other and perform our duties as usual.

I did realize the owner did not participate much in our discussions about management of the forum. To be honest that is not anything new; since the era of the previous owner until the current one, they rarely did any direct participation in forum management and moderation. It was nerve-wracking, but at least we could handle everything else. I was okay with the other administrators and us team leaders taking care of those all.

That is why, it became strange that when the owner decided to actually participate, all that he did was going against us.

As a former Community Team Member (aka the moderators of the forum) and current global moderator who had to deal with troublemakers, there is no bigger insult than looking at banned members returning to the forum all of a sudden. No notice, no reason. When the said members cause troubles once again, it was other administrators and team leaders who had to deal with the crap. Not the owner. One administrator, due to exhaustion dealing with a certain troublemaker, even left a note saying clearly that he would step down if this member ever returned to the forum. And the owner did the exact thing: he unbanned the member, gave him a sponsor membership, and enjoyed the day. I did not know the reason for these members returning, and I did not even care. I heard it was related to money, but I would not judge him with rumors.

He claimed he did not read the note. Does that make sense? This is one serious form of ignorance.

One day the owner also decided to promote someone to "Valued Contributor" group. It is a group for important people, as the name implied. Mostly for retired team leaders or those who have contributed largely to the forum despite not being a staff member. This one person was added without clear notice and reason, as usual. We were told that it was a reward in advance for the things he would do for the forum. It did not really make sense, but we chose to wait. We waited, but nothing happened. And so we questioned this decision. Other staff members caught this member doing inappropriate actions which earned him reminders from the moderators, which made our discomfort even greater. At the peak of the discomfort, the owner once again decided to give a reward-in-advance for this member in form of short user name. This kind of reward had never been given to any other member because it required edits through cPanel. This looked like a game of favoritism to our eyes. While we protested, the owner did the same thing to himself without replying to our concerns.

Am I wrong if I said that such action was equal to shouting to us that he did not care about us or what we said and that he could do anything he want?

He is the owner. I feel that such action is very, very inappropriate. To the level of insulting. I feel as if he was mocking us, who worked ourselves so hard out of love for nothing. No real life payment. In fact, we wasted our free time for the forum and its members. We kept the boards clean. And he acted as if we were nothing.

Those were two important events which drove me to my resignation. It could be different for each of those who resigned, but it was generally the same for everyone. We were tired. Very tired.

I heard that the other side of the party removed specific details of the story to manipulate the situation. I heard that he thought we blackmailed him and didn't give him time or chance to explain himself. He can do and say whatever he wants. This is the truth, though, whether you believe it or not. Three administrators, four team leaders, and four staff team members stepped down in total due to this event. One administrator and one team leader stepped down earlier because they couldn't handle it anymore. Does it seem like we didn't give him time to explain or change? Think for yourself.

I also have special message to those who choose to stay at the current Forum Promotion, whether as a regular member or as the new staff team member, including our former friends who betrayed us. My advice is simple. OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS. WIDELY. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Watch everything carefully and see for yourself if we just made this up or not. I heard the owner said he was going to change. That is good. Unfortunately, that is also what we heard over and over again, up to the point that it is very hard to trust. So go ahead and prove it yourself. I hope this event will stop here and you will not suffer the way we did. If it does not stop, though, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Fare thee well, Forum Promotion.

I think I will post a more detailed update of myself in another post, after this one. At this moment the need to share these two amazing songs is stronger than a boring update about myself.

I was late checking the new release of one of my favorite singer group, 4MEN. And when I did check the songs out, as usual I regret why I did not do it sooner. From their newest, fifth album, titled "1998", these two songs hit me hard on the face.

"포맨 (4men) - Star" (Watch on YouTube)

Though I can’t talk with you, though I can’t hug you...
It’s alright.
You are a dazzling star.
And I live in that light.

The song title is Star. Before I went to search for the lyrics translation, I did not expect its meaning to be a song from fans for their idols. Very sweet. It was a novel idea for me. But then the quote above, a part of the refrain, brought tears to my face for some unknown reasons. I think it was because for me this song is not only for idols on TV, but also for idols in real life, those who are so far away for me, unreachable, but I will always hold them dear in heart. Because there is nothing else I can do. This song is supposed to make me happy, so I find it funny that I'm crying.

"[MV] 4MEN(포맨) _ OK" (Watch on YouTube)

Even if you go clubbing, I’m OK.
Even if you get plastic surgery, I’m OK, because you are my love.
I’ll pick the stars for you, I’ll give you the moon.
Even if you get sensitive once a a month, it’s OK!

Very simple title with very simple (full) lyrics. I love it because of the fresh melody and powerful voices combined with simple lyrics; honest, straightforward, and sweet. Most probably because we are used to hear words organized beautifully. But no, this song does not need it. And that is why it is so charming. That is why I love it.

Long story short? I love 4MEN to death. If you have not checked them out and are a fan of ballad songs, they are worth your time. Always.

My grandmother complained about how I dislike fruits, my mom complained about how I dislike sports. I'm a doctor-gonna-be, and look at how unhealthy I live. :P

Sudirman Cup 2013, a badminton competition, started yesterday. Too bad I couldn't watch it on TV, not only because I don't have the channel it is aired on, but also because it's always aired in the morning where I have classes to attend. -__- So I'm watching it on YouTube, on BWF's official channel~ Still on the preliminary rounds, though. I'm just checking some Indonesia's rounds, as well as waiting patiently for Lee Yong Dae's appearance...~ Go Indonesia! Go South Korea! <3

A friend is probably coming this weekend, he said he had a basketball competition coming. I'm wondering if I'm free enough to go watch it... Exams are coming after all... And still lots of scanlating-related works to do, haha~

I like watching badminton and basketball the most. Probably because they are not as long as soccer, for example. And you can feel the tense more between participants.

More than a week without updates. Busy, busy...

The title this time is taken from my tweet a while ago when I was watching MasterChef Indonesia Season 3. I remember watching MasterChef US with a participant being blind, and she was as awesome as any other normal participants -- if not better. That was something amazing. This time I saw one of our participants being someone deaf. I thought, in cooking you need sight more than hearing, but then if he couldn't hear the instructions or not knowing when the bell ended as a sign or when he couldn't hear the voice of something boiled as you cooked it... It sure is hard. So thumbs up for both of them. So much inspiration.

Life has been busy but slightly fun, I guess. Finished with the national biology competition yesterday. Not too tired since I didn't really do much, but I enjoyed it. After all it's the last chance to enjoy the competition as official committee members; next year I'd just be a visitor who decided to help.

Today I had my first TV shooting, whee! So my church was invited to join in a Catholic discussion program on TV. A choir group was selected, and I was asked to help to play the music. We recorded the sound last week, today we recorded the people involved, haha. It was my first time being recorded for playing instrument too, not singing. Just minor make-ups and our usual clothes. Looking forward for the result!

My tablet returns to life! After letting it die for a while, I pressed the power button for few seconds and it rebooted. I was sooo happy.

And ultimately exams are coming. What have I done? I know you can guess. Seventeen lectures materials to review for the exam, and not to mention that those were superficial so I need to read textbooks too...

Life is so cool.