aetherna | Entries tagged with parents

I survived the world's doomsday. God loves me! /sarcasm

Anyway, been more than a month since my last post here. Very sporadic, eh? Here I was, promising to try hard to write regularly, but eventually it fell behind. Life's been busy, and the time I had used to stay online were channeled to games or anime or sleeping. Sounded like.. frustrated? Perhaps, a bit.

This year's Christmas and New Year is the first I celebrate without my core family. I'm stuck here because my semester is yet to end, but parents and sister are already at hometown. Around a week more I'll be free, but there's still a lot to go through to reach that point. Exams, mainly. On January 2nd, 2013. Look at the date, LOOK AT IT.

Honestly saying I wanted to celebrate New Year at a friend's house. But thanks to this annoying responsibility of having to go and see relatives on those days, I'll return to grandma's place soon enough. And studying there. And make a fool of myself for not being able to talk and have fun like others have. Because I barely talk to them, or maybe don't really know all these relatives that well.

I guess I'm just tired with life.

I'll probably write a bit more since I'm so bored and lazy. But two exams are around the corner as well, so...

P.S.: Belated Merry Christmas 2012!

Heart crappy
Body I no longer know.
Soul Rain

June is already here. In fact, we have already reached the second of June of 2012. The year of end of the world. :P Bottom line is, time flies, right? It feels as if we have just celebrated New Year few days ago, now we are already halfway through this year. So scary.

So many things have happened lately. Quite a lot of stress from school, with so many things to read and work on. Especially now that rather silent weeks have passed and we once again enter the weeks of battle with exams. My online activity thus have been reduced quite a bit, and it will decrease even more in upcoming weeks, until around three weeks from now when current class end and new one starts. Mom and my sister returned to hometown few days ago, leaving me alone here. And I can only go home on late August. Such a long way to go.

I suppose I can say I am kind of stressed with another thing as well.

I just don't understand why. I suppose if we talk directly, I will finally find out... Yet I feel there is no urge to do so since the other party totally shows no interest at all in talking with me about anything. That is rather discouraging, hence I decided to back off slowly and eventually cut off the connection. Not that I am angry or anything... I just don't understand why, and I react to what I see in front of me. Who wants to live in discomfort anyway, right? If I am not needed, if it makes me feel discomfort, I may as well stand back and live my life alone. No offense at all.

Perhaps it sounds like I am disappointed? I guess so. Deep inside since we have been together for a while, we can sort things out properly, but turns out I was wrong. I had faith... and in one way or another I was 'betrayed'. Sometimes I think if I have done something wrong, something I am unaware of.

So when I was told that we were going to talk... I'm just curious now.

Enough with the gloomy post.

The coming of June also marks something else in my life, actually, something more positive and lovely. It marks six month of something special, which I didn't think would last this long actually. It started of as something fun, and eventually we enjoyed it. I can't wait to see where we will go to after this. <3

Staying positive is so hard to do, but I will do my best!

P.S.: I hope you like the secrecy! :DD

Heart working
Body Darkness
Soul Liszt - La Campanella

Well, as the title says.

I don't know why specifically. Today I feel so full inside but empty as well. Confusing, right? I'm sorry. It is just hard to describe what I have inside and they are also hard to let out. I ended up crying. >_>

I think it is most probably related to everything and all stress I have been keeping to myself lately... First source obviously is university life. Problems in terms of exams and scores and assignments, non-academic activities which just hurt my head with all the works and deadlines, and lack of sleep. Another source would be family-related, I suppose. Things just don't go well as it used to, and when I ignored it I ended up piling it up inside. Thus, the explosion.

Just tired, that is all, really.

It is at this kind of time that I started to feel that perhaps I just took the wrong step, that I shouldn't have done this since the beginning, and so on. Such a bad mind.

Tired. Means I need sleep. See you tomorrow then, hopefully with a better mood.

Heart drained
Body Bed
Soul My own heartbeat

rainchild

to be a meaningful gesture

Entries tagged with parents

Because 'the end' is 'the beginning of something new'.

Second of June.

Some things are just hard to let out.