Watching MasterChef Indonesia Season 3 today breaks my heart. That one deaf participant that I mentioned previously had to be eliminated because he failed the challenges and pressure test. A shame to see him go because he actually had talent, but as mentioned numerous times by the judges themselves, he had been a great inspiration for everyone, not only in the field of cooking. Best of luck for him from now on!

And the badminton games have been very satisfying so far. Many awesome moments, all the attacks and defenses are amazing. Even though Indonesia lost on the quarter final thanks to China (as usual), it was still a great game. And now I can't wait to see the final between China and South Korea tomorrow; a battle of two strongest badminton nations so far! <3

I guess I was sad yet inspired from many things. And I also listened to this inspirational song by the heavenly Philippine Madrigal Singers, or mostly known as MADZ.

For whatever problems we may have, let's not give up hope. Because those who try will be paid equally.

From what is supposed to be a week, lol.

Finally the national event my batch created in name of our faculty ended last night. I'm glad it ended, and I bet my friends who had more problems felt even happier that it ended. It was quite an exhausting week for me, running here and there taking care of many things, coming home late, too tired to do anything else even though the week was free from any academic activities. There were problems here and there... But all in all it was a fun experience. It's nice to be able to do something like that once in a while.

Even so the projects didn't end there. I have another national event I'm taking part in the next two weeks, and my batch still has another social project which will take place in the next two months, I suspect. That means we'll still be busy.

Oh, well. At least I managed to watch some drama and anime, although I made no progress in continuing my Japanese and little progress in scanlating.

Last night I was thinking to return to Wordpress. Not that I'm very unsatisfied with how Dreamwidth is, but I was bored and I didn't find a theme I really like to use. I decided to go with this one ('Belledona') and too lazy to convert or export all the content here to new Wordpress. There is no easy way, lol. So I guess I'll stick to using this place~ Haven't been very successful in blogging ever since I closed my first blog, lol.

It's already Sunday, geez. I'm sad, really. Haven't done anything yet... So I'm thinking about how I'll spend my last free Sunday evening. After going to church. Nyahaha.

It has been a while since I posted any update in this journal. Caught up in life, and just... too lazy. <3 But as payback, here I'll share the summary of previous months.

February 2013 ~ The big thing was me turning 20. Feeling so old, yeah. First few days of February was spent lazily at home, enjoying what was probably my last holiday for the next a year and half, or so my friends said. So I was at home with parents and sister, visiting this and that place, doing this and that, until I had to resume school. Classes were fine, got its boring moment, but I managed to got through it rather safely. Can't remember anything so special happening in February. Don't ask me of Valentine's Day, lol.

March 2013 ~ Happy Easter! March was closed with a lovely Easter celebration here, even though I was tired because of it. Preparations of events, usual university stuffs, me getting lazy, me and my addiction to drama and anime, finishing Winter's anime, and waiting patiently for the new Spring titles. Noticed how my friends were fighting, getting pissed off at some things, got into fangirl mode on for music and drama, and found peace between all those hectic moments. I'm glad March went through safely, too.

Now... Happy April's Fools day! Nothing bad happened today, thank goodness. Instead I'm preparing for exam right away, and a retreat for Catholic students at the end of this week. Busy as hell. But somehow enjoying it. With all the laziness included. And waiting patiently for Seung Gi-oppa new sageuk drama which will start airing in mid-April.

Life can't get any better.

I've stopped studying around half an hour ago.

The priest at my church today mentioned the word "reflection" in his speech. He said a person who never reflected back on his life didn't deserve the life. By reflecting on his life, someone can become a person better than before, learning from his mistakes, expanding horizon, and living a healthier life. Reflection is never easy; it is in a point where you have to consider other point of views, otherwise the reflection has no meaning. I guess I did it once in a while...

My reflection of 2012? I think my spirit decreased a bit in 2012. It felt as if I rarely felt so attached or spirited in everything I did. School grades were not so bad but nothing special as well. Things with friends and family went well but flat, or so I think. I hope in 2013 I can fix those things somehow. Especially since I'll be entering the clinical stage of my education, it's an important step.

I hope you do well on your reflection as well. :P

P.S.: This is most probably will be the last post of in this year. Fare thee well, 2012. It was a nice, long journey with you.

This song lately colors my day as well as makes me cry a little bit. The music is probably standard, but I really love the lyrics. While in the song the lyrics is intended for a romance genre, to me it can be applied to many other things. I did have several chapters in my life that... matches the atmosphere of the song and the lyrics. And because the song probably asks the questions I didn't dare to ask to myself.

"Return" is the star of Seung Gi-oppa's latest mini album released a while ago, "Forest". The mini album itself tells the story of a boy who remember his old love once upon a time in his life. It has a strong feeling of "looking back", "acceptance", "regret". Precisely what I often feel in life lately.

Try it out for yourself. I hope you enjoy it.

I don't know myself. This is one of probably the low moments of my life, when everything around me sucks, when I suck myself, and totally have no motivation of moving forward.

Mock exam tomorrow. I have just started to read things around 2 hours ago. Amazing.

I enjoy sleeping even more lately. Problems just go away when I do, so it makes me very happy. Aside from that music helps me to survive.

What's wrong with me... So without life lately. Spending hours working on unnecessary things and watching anime. I mean, hey, I'm already on my third year, soon to be assistant of those doctors. But I'm not prepared at all.

My choir club was planning some kind of workshop for the members tomorrow. Unfortunately I received news yesterday that there will be events all students must participate in. When we had already contacted the speakers and the members about the day. And there's also this singing event on Wednesday. How are we going to practice? Oh, my.

What have I been doing...

I really need the holiday this weekend (again) to clean my head and focus. FOCUS!

These past two weeks I dedicated my life (by that, I mean my free time) mostly for my faculty's choir group. Well, I'm the chairman after all, but it was more because I was also responsible for the practice since we don't really have a fixed coach. So my friend and I helped the team as coaches. We had to perform twice, each in the last two Saturdays. So I scheduled practice for almost everyday during those weeks.

Things went better in first weeks than the last one. Short story is, our first performance was way, WAY, better than the last performance. Ashamed? No need to ask. Although I had kind of "given up" since I couldn't do anything anymore. It didn't change the fact that I was hurt and disappointed, more towards myself than others.

I was chosen as the chairman of this year's team. I actually had the chance to refuse, but I didn't. I thought this would be a good chance to "repent for my sins in the past"; failing our choir competitions and making our coach cry. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but man, isn't it hard.

The failure this time was my mistake, I guess, since I didn't plan it out well enough. When I accepted the job since the time frame was close to the other performance I thought it wouldn't be a problem. Lesson learned to be more careful in the future.

Performances are over, but now our big(gest) responsibility has come. New batches. What to do with them? If we can't keep them interested we'd lose people just like how we lost those one year below us. Another tough battle. Are we going to win?

Now I know for sure that it is not enough just to have music. Because not everyone in team is "satisfied" with "just music".

June is already here. In fact, we have already reached the second of June of 2012. The year of end of the world. :P Bottom line is, time flies, right? It feels as if we have just celebrated New Year few days ago, now we are already halfway through this year. So scary.

So many things have happened lately. Quite a lot of stress from school, with so many things to read and work on. Especially now that rather silent weeks have passed and we once again enter the weeks of battle with exams. My online activity thus have been reduced quite a bit, and it will decrease even more in upcoming weeks, until around three weeks from now when current class end and new one starts. Mom and my sister returned to hometown few days ago, leaving me alone here. And I can only go home on late August. Such a long way to go.

I suppose I can say I am kind of stressed with another thing as well.

I just don't understand why. I suppose if we talk directly, I will finally find out... Yet I feel there is no urge to do so since the other party totally shows no interest at all in talking with me about anything. That is rather discouraging, hence I decided to back off slowly and eventually cut off the connection. Not that I am angry or anything... I just don't understand why, and I react to what I see in front of me. Who wants to live in discomfort anyway, right? If I am not needed, if it makes me feel discomfort, I may as well stand back and live my life alone. No offense at all.

Perhaps it sounds like I am disappointed? I guess so. Deep inside since we have been together for a while, we can sort things out properly, but turns out I was wrong. I had faith... and in one way or another I was 'betrayed'. Sometimes I think if I have done something wrong, something I am unaware of.

So when I was told that we were going to talk... I'm just curious now.

Enough with the gloomy post.

The coming of June also marks something else in my life, actually, something more positive and lovely. It marks six month of something special, which I didn't think would last this long actually. It started of as something fun, and eventually we enjoyed it. I can't wait to see where we will go to after this. <3

Staying positive is so hard to do, but I will do my best!


P.S.: I hope you like the secrecy! :DD

As the title said. That is the reason for my lack of post for almost a month. :P

Not really, I guess...?

Last time I posted an entry here, it was after the first exam of last module, if I remember correctly. After that I went into crazy mode of studying. I tried to use my time as effective and efficient as possible, I tried to keep myself sane through all the crazy schedules... It ended up well, the exams week finished and I didn't have to redo anything. Still I had an exam to re-take last week, and I went back to studying. Not that I didn't have time at all to write, but I was getting lazy online, only playing games and downloading or watching K-drama, and chatting. Nothing much. Until today, which marks the beginning of a new class, I think it is a good time to restart everything again.

After taking a break and breathe free for around a week -- or few days cut by studying from that re-take exam -- I feel slightly more refreshed to start anew. Today's lectures while not as bad as I thought were not delivered well by the teachers that they got slightly boring. It's still the first day anyway so I won't let myself down.

Back to working on my writing, I guess. So many to write, deadline is Wednesday, and I'm full until late afternoon tomorrow. How sweet.